Random disconnected diatribes of a documentation engineer http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/default.aspxen-gb Alex Homer http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/about.aspx ahomer@microsoft.com ahomer@microsoft.com Reading a UK computer magazine last week, I came across the delightful phrase "like playing a recording of a swarm of hornets to a group of blindfolded mime artists". It conjures up a vivid mental picture of events such as might occur at a product development meeting where somebody suggests rewriting a whole legacy application in Objective Fortran and linking the components using DCOM. Or allowing the marketing department to choose the name for your wonderful new product. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 31 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2010/01/31/Your-Giraffe-Is-Upside-Down_2E002E002E00_.aspx Funny stuff, wireless. We take for granted that we can wander aimlessly about the office or home while maintaining a robust connection to the outside world, or just to the server down the hall. Let's face it, modern kit and the connection it provides is pretty reliable. And, rather annoyingly, after the not inconsiderable effort of hard-wiring my house with CAT-5 and a 10MB switches, it even seems that the new generation of Wi-Fi is faster. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 24 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2010/01/24/Living-in-a-Cage.aspx If any UK-based Internet users noticed that the Web was running a bit slow last Thursday, I apologize. Probably I was partly to blame. I managed to send an extremely large zip file on a four hundred mile round trip just to move it three quarters of an inch. I'm expecting a large invoice from my ISP to arrive any day now. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 17 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2010/01/17/Honey_2C00_-I-Shrunk-The-Internet.aspx As a full-time 'Softie, I am - of course - a fully converted Binger. However, I occasionally pop across to the competition just to see what graphic they've used for the search engine name, designed to illustrate the particular day of the year. It's an interesting way to keep up with other cultures and see how clever the artists are that create meaningful designs using images that look like letters. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 10 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2010/01/10/A-Picture_2700_s-Worth-a-Thousand-Wg8nX.aspx ...possibly. ahomer@microsoft.com Wed, 06 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2010/01/06/Derbyshire-Does-Global-Warming_2E002E002E00_.aspx So we're out of the noughties and into the tens, and I suppose I should decide on some New Year (or, more likely, recycled from the last several years) resolutions. Of course, one of the nice things about being a married man is that you generally don't have to spend a lot of time trying to think of suitable topics to be resolute about. You can usually rely on "the better half" to provide some useful direction in these matters. Suggestions such as losing weight, getting more exercise, giving up smoking, going to bed earlier, and generally increasing the possibility I might live to see old age. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 03 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2010/01/03/Being-Resolute_2E002E002E00_.aspx One of the joys of living in England is the plentiful opportunities for amusement (and sometimes even amazement) due to the proliferation of daft laws and rules emanating from our near-expired Government. According to an article in last week's newspaper, it's now illegal to sell a grey squirrel. It's nice to know that the appropriate level of law and order is being enforced in these troubled times. But best of all are the ramifications of the "Elf and Safety" laws (as they are affectionally known) that now blight almost every aspect of our lives. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/12/27/Elf-and-Safety_2E002E002E00_.aspx I'm convinced that there are millions of Windows users out there who spend a large proportion of their time just sitting staring at their computer, without actually running any programs. Maybe they can't afford to buy the latest cool applications. Or the ones they've got don't work on Windows 7. Or perhaps it's a just a new incarnation of Zen meditation techniques. How else would you account for the increasing focus on, and proliferation of pretty background pictures and animated wallpaper? Even to the extent of having a different one every time you turn on the machine? ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/12/20/Icon-Do-It-_2800_but-only-as-an-Administrator_2900_.aspx I watched some property development program on TV the other week about a "contemporary" new house with a "streamlined yet powerful" design. The comment from the presenter was that it looked like "a big box with windows". Aha! That's what I've just bought! Though mine was delivered in a cardboard box with Dell labels on. But, at last, I'm Windows 7 enabled! Perhaps you can tell from the increased productivity and heightened user experience of this post. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 13 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/12/13/A-Big-Box-of-Windows.aspx I can't honestly say that I've ever been much of a patron of the dark arts. Mind you, a few years ago I was fascinated to see a chapter for a book on ADO.NET that I'd written come back from review with fifteen paragraphs about devil worship in the middle of it. I was about half way through editing this when I suddenly realized it sounded unfamiliar, and seemed to have little to do with asynchronous data access and stored procedures. I assume that the reviewer had got their Ctrl-somethings mixed up, and I still can't help wondering if there is a Web site out there somewhere that has a detailed description of the behavior of a DataReader in the middle of an article about witchcraft and sorcery. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/12/06/Move-Over-Harry-Potter.aspx ...that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the server cabinet to suffer the outrageous lack of valuable new functionality, or to take arms against the powerful improvements to the core Windows Server operating system. And by opposing, manage without them? To sleep (or hibernate): perchance to dream of an easy upgrade. I guess you can see why I don't write poetry very often - it always seems to end up sounding like somebody else's. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/11/29/To-R2-Or-Not-To-R2_3F00_.aspx I'm not quite sure how she did it, but this year my wife managed to convince me to follow the latest weekly pandering to public opinion that is "The X Factor" - our annual TV search for the next singing and recording star. I did manage to miss most of the early heats; except for those entrants so excruciatingly awful that my wife saved the recording so she could convince me that there's a faint possibility I don't actually have the worst singing voice in the world. Though I suspect it's a close-run thing. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/11/22/Public-Nopinion.aspx Usually the only time I feel like digging a big hole and climbing in is when I make some inappropriate remark at an important social event, or tell a rather too risque joke during a posh dinner party. However, since I never get invited to posh dinner parties, and extremely rarely have the opportunity to attend any "cream of society" gatherings, I've so far avoided the need to invest in a new shovel. And, not being a polar bear, I don't have a tendency to view large holes in the snow as suitable resting places for the winter either. In fact, even though I'm quite adept at sleeping, it turns out I'm a rather late convert to the notion of hibernation. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/11/15/Ready-for-Hibernation.aspx It's probably safe to say that only a limited number of the few people who stroll past my blog each week were fans of the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Or even, while they might recall their 1968 hit single "I'm the Urban Spaceman" (which, I read somewhere, was produced by Paul McCartney under the pseudonym of Apollo C. Vermouth), are aware of their more ground-breaking works such as "The Doughnut In Granny's Greenhouse". So this week's title, based on their memorable non-hit "Can Blue Men Sing The Whites" is pretty much guaranteed to be totally indecipherable to the majority of the population. Except for the fact that the BBC just decided to use it as the title of a new music documentary. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 08 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/11/08/Can-Writers-Dance-The-Agile_3F00_.aspx One of the features of working from home is that, if you aren't careful, you can suddenly find that you haven't been outside for several days. In fact, if you disregard a trip to the end of the drive to fetch the wheely bin, or across the garden to feed the goldfish, I probably haven't been outside for a month. I suppose this is why my wife, when she gets home from work each day, feels she has to appraise me of the current weather conditions. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 01 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/11/01/Suffering-Suffixes_2C00_-Batman.aspx There's a well known saying that goes something like "Please engage brain before shifting mouth into gear". And another that says "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen". Yet, after what's now more than a year as a fulltime 'Softie, I've managed to avoid being flamed for any of my weekly diatribes; and neither has anybody pointed out (at least within earshot) how stupid I am. So I suppose it's time to remedy that situation. This week I'm going to throw caution to the winds and trample wildly across the green and pleasant pastures of generics, and all without a safety net. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 25 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/10/25/Unbound-Generics_3A00_-an-Open-and-Closed-Case.aspx A great many years ago, when I was fresh out of school and learning to be a salesman, we had a sales manager who proudly advertised that his office door was "always open". What he meant, obviously, was that we could drop in any time with questions, problems, and for advice on any sales-related issue that might arise. Forgotten what step five of "the seven steps to making a sale" is? Having problems framing your "double-positive questions"? Struggling to find "a response to overcome an objection"? Just sail in through that ever-open door and fire away. Except that the only response you ever got from him was "...you can always rely on one end of a swimming pool". ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 18 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/10/18/Come-On-In_2C00_-The-Water_2700_s-Lovely_2E002E002E00_.aspx Suddenly, here at chez Derbyshire, it's 1996 again all over again. Instead of spending my days creating electronic guidance and online documentation in its wealth of different formats and styles, I'm back to writing real books. Ones that will be printed on paper and may even have unflattering photos of me on the back. And there'll be professional people doing the layout and creating the schematics. It's almost like I've got a real job again. I'll be able to do that "move all your books to the front of the shelf" thing in all the book stores I visit, and look imploringly at people at conferences hoping they'll ask me to sign their copy. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 11 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/10/11/Some-Consolation_2E002E002E00_.aspx Oh well, back to work, holidays over for another year. At least I managed to morph from a sickly shade of pale to a faint shade of tan, and without catching airplane 'flu or any other weird tropical disease (at least not one that's shown up so far). In fact, it was one of the most hassle-free and relaxing holidays we've had. I even managed to forego the doubtful pleasure of email for a whole six days without caving in and searching for an Internet cafe. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 04 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/10/04/I-Do-Like-To-Be-Beside-The-Seaside.aspx If all goes according to plan, I should be spread-eagled in a sun lounger on a foreign beach as you read this, with a copy of some second-rate espionage novel in one hand and a large and very cold beer in the other. Maybe even nodding to the passing waiter to bring another plate of canapés and a bowl of ready-peeled grapes, or passing the time of day with famous celebrities as they stroll slowly past splashing their feet in the warm clear blue water of the Mediterranean. I mean, we did book a really nice hotel; though - looking now at some photos posted on the Web by previous visitors of the construction site next door to it and the dilapidated street of half-demolished houses round the back - I'm not so sure. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 27 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/09/27/Another-Bowl-of-Peeled-Grapes-Please_2C00_-Waiter.aspx Despite being a writer by profession, and regularly castigating my colleagues for being recalcitrant in reviewing stuff I write, I actually dislike doing reviews myself. When I was an independent author (before I signed my life away to Microsoft), I was often approach by companies offering to pay me to write reviews of their products for their Web sites and literature. Even taking into account the presumed integrity of the author, this type of review seems somehow to be tainted when compared to an independent review by someone who doesn't stand to gain from it. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 20 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/09/20/Generically-Modified.aspx With appropriate acknowledgment to Phil and Kirstie, this week's random blather seems to have evolved with a dislocated theme; and rather more so than is usual in my weekly ramblings. It started with a series of events that made me wonder if I am somehow dislocated from the rest of my corporate employees and the huge organization of which I'm part. Mainly due to some unexpected emails that popped up in my Inbox. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 13 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/09/13/Dislocation_2C00_-Dislocation_2C00_-Dislocation.aspx After what seems like a nightmare week of aggravation, it looks like I'm finally connectivity-wealthy. Downloads take seconds, uploads are relatively quick, and I'm probably even redundant connection-enabled. Though tests of the load-balancing and failover router have exposed some uncertainty around it's operating capabilities. Maybe it's something to do with the fact I bought the $250 one instead of the $1900 one that my colleague (who works for Cisco) recommended. I think he's planning a world cruise, and had his eye on the commission. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 06 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/09/06/Cable-Internet-in-10-Easy-Steps.aspx I don't know how I manage it, but I seem to continually find myself trailing behind in this ever-changing world of digital technology. After the problems of a few weeks ago with a failed Media Center box (which, it seems, can't be fixed) I've finally got the new replacement machine up and running. We've been magically transported from the gray and disappointing confines of Media Center 2005 into the vibrant and exciting new world of Vista Media Center - just a month before Windows 7 is released. I suppose our only hope of actually catching up with O/S releases will be if next door's toddler happens to shove a slice of buttered toast into the DVD drive so we need to buy another new one. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 30 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/08/30/Lagging-Behind-the-Joneses.aspx In between the usual spates of frantic two-fingered typing of exciting new guidance this week, I've been attempting to expand my brain to the size of a small asteroid (with appropriate apologies to Douglas Adams fans, the size of a planet seems a rather optimistic aim). All this comes about because an increasing amount of stuff in the project I'm working on at the moment, the upcoming version of Enterprise Library, depends on new whizz-bang features of the .NET languages such as lambda expressions, nullable types, anonymous delegates, and implicit typing. As an upgraded VBScripter, much of this might as well have been written in Klingon for all the sense I could make of it. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 23 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/08/23/Syntactic-Strain.aspx I read somewhere a while ago that the word "expert" comes from a combination of the two Latin words "ex" meaning "a has-been", and "spurt" meaning "a drip under pressure". I'm not sure I actually believe it, but is does seem a remarkably fortuitous match to my capabilities when it comes to the grudge matches I regularly indulge in just trying to keep my own network running. I suppose I've rambled on about my semi-competence as a network administrator enough times in the past. It's one of those areas where you think you're starting to get the knack of it, and then you realize that it's only because you haven't yet discovered all the things you don't know. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 16 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/08/16/A-Drip-Under-Pressure.aspx Anyone unfortunate enough to have followed my frantic ramblings over the years (though this blog and my diary from a previous life) will know that, in our house, we are fully paid up members of the modern all-singing, all-dancing, digital media and entertainment society. Well, OK, so we have a Media Center that is our main TV, DVD player, music jukebox, streaming device for our favorite saved videos, and presentation mechanism for a huge library of digital photos. We even use a photo screensaver, so we can relive those wonderful memories of the past whilst daydreaming in our armchairs in the evenings (pipe and slippers being optional accessories). ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 09 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/08/09/Where-Did-Media-Center-Go_3F00_.aspx It's a strange experience when you open the curtains in the morning to be faced by men in high visibility jackets and hard hats only a few yards away, and 30 feet above the ground. Mind you, the noise made by the assortment of cranes, diggers, and other plant they use - combined with regular hammering and occasional swearing - means you don't get to overlay in the mornings. I've even got to know most of them, and give them a cheery wave as I try and convert from half-asleep to some state of semi-awakeness. Though they do seem somewhat reticent about waving back to a zombie-like character with a dragged-through-a-hedge-backwards hairstyle, and still adorned in a bright blue check dressing gown. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 02 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/08/02/Agile-Development-in-the-Bricks-and-Mortar-World.aspx So here's an interesting approach to merchandising and pricing your products. Imagine, if you will, that you have set up a company to build sports cars, and you reckon your can sell 50 in the first year. Or maybe, closer to home, you have invented some fabulous new piece of software that you're convinced will sweep the world off its feet and find a home on every desktop and server out there (yes, when I was a lot younger I started out like that as well...). Anyway, after a year, you discover that you are only selling half what you budgeted for, and so you're losing money. What do you do? ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 26 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/07/26/Tap_2C00_-Tap_2C00_-Tap_2C00_-Bloop_2C00_-Gone_2E00_.aspx I'm fast coming to the conclusion that you actually need to be quite stupid to use a computer these days. Within a few years those with even a minor modicum of capability, or just a hint of innate common sense, or even mental agility that verges on a level around normal, will find themselves completely excluded from the ever-present, always-connected, online virtualness and technological future of man (and women) kind. We'll be reduced to writing on stuff called "paper" and sending these hand-written messages to others by buying "postage stamps". Or actually talking using ordinary words over a voice connection called a "telephone". ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 19 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/07/19/Too-Clever-By-Four-And-Three-Eighths.aspx There's some ethereal guy called "system" wandering around inside my servers stealing stuff. It's a bit like when you were a kid and your parents hid things from you. When my hamster died, my Dad told me it had gone to live on a farm. Of course, when I got a bit older and my Grandmother passed away I realized he was telling fibs because she suffered from hay fever and was afraid of cows, so there's no way she would go and live on a farm. Yet, even though I've now reached the age where people generally feel they can tell me the truth (often, worryingly, to may face), I discover that Windows Server 2008 is still hiding stuff from me. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 12 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/07/12/The-Shadow-in-the-Machine.aspx OK, OK, so one month I'm complaining that our little green paradise island seems to have drifted north into the Arctic, and now I'm grumbling about the heat. Obviously global warming is more than just a fad, as we've been subjected here in England to temperatures hovering around 90 degrees in real money for the last week or so. Other than the gruesome sight of pale-skinned Englishmen in shorts (me included), it's having some rather dramatic effects on my technology installations. I'm becoming seriously concerned that my hard disks will turn into floppy ones, and my batteries will just chicken out in the heat. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 05 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/07/05/It-Ain_2700_t-Half-Hot-Mum.aspx Listening to the radio one day this week, I heard somebody describe golf as being "a series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle". It struck me that maybe what I do every day is very similar. If, as a writer, you measured success as a ratio between the number of words you write and the number that actually get published, you'd probably decide that professional dog-walker or wringer-out for a one armed window cleaner was a far more rewarding employment prospect. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 28 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/06/28/Measuring-Job-Satisfaction.aspx I've been trying something new and exciting this week. OK, so it's perhaps not as exciting as bungee jumping or white-water rafting, but it's certainly something I've not tried before. I'm experimenting to see if I can use Team Foundation Server (TFS) to monitor and control the documentation work for my current project. As usual, the dev guys are using agile development methods, and they seem to live and die by what TFS tells them, so it must be a good idea. Maybe. But I suppose there's no room in today's fast-moving, high-flying, dynamic, and results-oriented environment for my usual lackadaisical approach of just doing it when it seems to be the best time, and getting it finished before they toss the software out of the door and into the arms of the baying public. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 21 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/06/21/Am-I-Done-Yet_2E002E002E003F00_.aspx Isn't it funny how - after a while - you tend not to notice, or you ignore the annoying habits of your closest colleagues. As I work from home, some 5,000 miles away from my next closest colleagues, the closest colleague I have is Microsoft Vista (yes, I do lead a sad and lonely life doing my remote documentation engineering thing). I mean, I've accepted that sometimes when I open a folder in Windows Explorer it will decide to show me a completely different view of the contents from the usual "Details" view I expect. I suppose it's my own fault because I happen to have a few images in there as well as Word documents, and Vista thinks it's being really helpful by telling me how I rated each one rather than the date it was last modified. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 14 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/06/14/Having-A-Bad-Where_3F00_-Day.aspx It's a good thing that Tim Berners-Lee is still alive or he'd probably be turning in his grave. I was hoping to find that my latest exploration of Web-based Interfaces for Kommunicating Ideas would lead me to some Wonderfully Intuitive Kit Intended for sharing knowledge and collecting feedback, but sadly I'm Wistfully Imagining Knowledge Instruments that should have been around today - and aren't. And, yes, I'm talking about wikis. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 07 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/06/07/Woefully-Inadequate-Kollaboration-Implementation.aspx According to Nintendo, the name of their family games console expresses their direction to break down the wall that separates video game players from everybody else, puts people more in touch with their games, and with each other. The two letter "i"s emphasize both the unique controllers and the image of people gathering to play, and the pronunciation "we" emphasizes that this console is for everyone. But I think they only called it this so people in England could make up silly jokes. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 31 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/05/31/I-Need-a-Wii_2E002E002E00_.aspx A quick note to Hyper-V users. When I installed Windows Server 2008 Service Pack 2, it installed fine with no errors, but after a while I was getting NetBT errors in Event Log saying there was a duplicate name on the network, and other issues finding machines on the network. ahomer@microsoft.com Thu, 28 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/05/28/Windows-2008-Hyper_2D00_V-and-Service-Pack-2.aspx You don't normally expect zonking amounts of current to be flying around inside a computer (unless you've packed it solid with extra disk drives), so tagging a couple of skinny wires to one end of the circuit board is probably an eminently sensible approach. Those five DC volts will eventually find their way along the copper tracks and wander into the odd chip when required, and it's fairly unlikely you'll get flash-over between the connector pins or a nasty smell as several amps of current rumble uncontrolled through the resistors and capacitors. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 24 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/05/24/Currently-Overloaded_2E002E002E00_.aspx I endured a severe culture shock this week. And that was without meeting new people from countries afar, or travelling to distant lands. And it didn't involve a trip to some foreign eatery (such as our local Indian restaurant or Greek fish 'n' chip shop) either. No, all I did was respond to a change in the company security policy by replacing the existing well-known virus protection software with the new Forefront Client Security application. All I need to do now is work out how to configure it. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 17 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/05/17/How-Much-Configuration-Do-You-Need_3F00_.aspx Our little documentation department here at p&p occasionally gets some odd requests. I've done the "write some fictitious stories about corporations that don't exist" bit in the past (as content for a sample application, in case you were wondering), and the "write a technical article about cloud computing but don't mention any products or technologies" thing (it was a very short article). Combine this with an emerging policy of rewriting everything four times when people keep changing their minds about what they want, and you can see why I'm usually quite busy. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 10 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/05/10/Five-Go-To-The-Library.aspx Travel, they say, broadens your mind and narrows your arteries. Now back home in wonderfully green and Springing England after a couple of weeks in downtown Redmond, it looks like I survived the combined effects of altitude sickness, jet lag, and airport aggravation. Perhaps I'm becoming a "seasoned traveler". Especially as the dictionary definitions of "seasoned" include "hardened", "tested", and "weathered". I probably fit into all of those categories; and probably "soaked in alcohol" as well, though probably not "rubbed with herbs". ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 03 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/05/03/Boeing_2C00_-Boeing_2C00_-Gone-to-Seattle.aspx I reckon that, last week, I broke a World record. I managed to cycle through 38 TV channels in turn that were all showing commercials. OK, so I was in a hotel in the U.S. and maybe that's to be expected. And some of the commercials are more interesting than the programs. Of course, it's probably the same here in England now that we have "digital choice", but I just don't notice 'cos we let Media Center record anything we want to watch and then skip over the commercials. Mind you, we need some serious practice to make commercials that are as blatantly misleading as those I've been watching. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 26 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/04/26/Snake-Oil-Salesmen.aspx I watched a program on TV the other night about how your body clock works. It seems that when you are young, your body clock is "offset late" so you are useless in the mornings and tend to be a bit of a night owl. I guess this is useful so you can go to those all-night parties and clubs. When you get old your body clock is "offset early", so you have to go to bed at 6:30 PM and get up in time to watch breakfast TV and those weird quiz shows that nobody has heard of. I suppose this means that there are only a couple of weeks around the age of 35 when your life is actually aligned with the world around you. That's going to be my excuse in future, anyway. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 19 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/04/19/Are-You-Offset-Early-Yet_3F00_.aspx I suspect that there is a crisis at our local council offices at the moment. They've obviously run out of things to waste taxpayer's money on, so they decided to publish a ten page full-color pamphlet containing really useful information about our local community. On page three, it says that - in case we hadn't noticed - work is underway on the open-cast coal mine just across the fields from where I live. Really? I would never have guessed that the brand new railway, dozens of huge trucks, and a hole half a mile wide and a hundred feet deep were connected with that. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 12 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/04/12/Miss-Spellings-and-Bad-Grandma.aspx I'm starting to worry that I can’t cope with the frantic releases of operating system versions. I just got settled with a couple of Vista machines and, more recently, two Server 2008 boxes, and now I'm being pushed to "dogfood" Windows 7. I wonder if I should install it on the machine I use for all my important work, or on the laptop I depend on when travelling. I know I tend to be somewhat conservative in terms of upgrading to the latest cool software, but neither of these options seems like a really good idea with a beta operating system. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 05 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/04/05/Going-to-the-Dogs.aspx First off, I need to apologize to all those people who have been reduced to reading my previous "Hyper-Ventilating" posts hoping to find some crumb of comfort to alleviate their crippling medical condition. It seems from the analysis of Web search requests for those posts that more people are ill than are using Hyper-V. I suppose that's reasonable, and will perhaps teach me to stop using misleading (and often incomprehensible) titles for my posts. A bit like this one, I guess. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 22 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/03/22/Cursory-Distractions.aspx Before we start, I want to make it clear that - although I often use US spelling in stuff I write - I refuse to accept that "tire" is a way of spelling the round black things that you put on a car. I'm English, and tired (sorry) of seeing that weird spelling, so from here on in we'll be using the proper spelling: "tyre". And, annoyingly, Word has just red-wigglyed that now I've typed it. I guess an indication of how I have to produce most of my verbiage with Word set to US English. And this post is not even about spelling or languages. What is it about? I suppose it's kind of another grumble about technology in general. And about measuring stuff. So, if you are already in a bad mood, this might be a good place to stop reading and go off and do some yoga or listen to a Coldplay album. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 15 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/03/15/Unit-Protesting.aspx I read in the newspaper this week that scientists have discovered why men are better at reading maps, while women are more able to find things like car keys. It seems that it all goes back to pre-history behavioral patterns and responsibilities. Men had to travel long distances hunting, and so had to be able to navigate. Women foraged locally for food, so needed a keen eye for detail. Now I don't want to appear sexist, but I have to say that, at least in our house, reality tends the match that assertion. Mind you, one guy wrote in to the paper to say that his wife was really good at map reading - as long as they were heading north. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 08 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/03/08/A-Categorical-Approach-To-Compatibility-Theory.aspx Every now and then I get to write actual code rather than just documentation. Usually there's either a crowd watching in amazement that I can actually find Visual Studio, never mind knowing some of the magic keywords that make it all work when you press the green arrow button. Or else everyone is cowering behind their desk in case my computer can't cope with the culture shock and explodes. Isn't it wonderful when everyone has so much faith in your capabilities - after all, I've read the .NET Architecture Guide (endlessly, as I've been working on it for the last year) so I ought to know a bit about this stuff. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 01 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/03/01/In-Search-Of-The-Missing-Link.aspx I'm a great believer in the future of "cloud" computing. It seems to be the way forward for both large and small organizations to maximize return on investment and reduce the complexity of managing their own hardware. Not that I'm one to talk about simplifying technology requirements after the past three weeks of virtual notworkingness with new servers, Windows 2008, and Hyper-V (though, to be fair, it eventually evolved into mainly-workingness-with-odd-broken-bits). One thing it has exposed me to, however, is some of the problems that seem to be gathering in the cloud. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/02/22/In-the-Jungles-of-the-Amazon.aspx I reckon it's a Government conspiracy. Obviously continental drift has speeded up while we weren't looking, and England has drifted north into the Arctic during the last couple of weeks. I did check on Virtual Earth, but the maps are three months old (it takes a while to erase all the UFOs at Area 52). I suppose the experts will blame global warming, and point to "cataclysmic climate changes becoming the norm". So it's fairly predictable that the most commonly heard comment around here this last couple of weeks has been "I'll be glad when we get some of that global warming they keep promising us..." ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 15 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/02/15/Leicester-Talk-About_2E002E002E00_.aspx After approximately two weeks of intermittent network upgrades, I seem to still have a working network. I guess at least that's something to be thankful for. But it's still not fulfilled the original plan. And much hyper-ventilation has occurred during the process, particularly when watching those little green caterpillars crawl across the endless "Please wait..." dialogs, and wondering what the next error dialog will say... ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 08 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/02/08/Hyper_2D00_Ventilation_2C00_-Act-III.aspx Outside, the snow lies deep, crisp, and even. Inside, the continuing quest to achieve calm and serenity through the application of virtuality. Noticeably, without much sign of virtuosity. I know that a "Minister of the Church" is somebody who ministers to the poor and sick as well as the good and the godly. I wonder if, being surrounded by all my very old and somewhat sick machines, I am really a "Network Ministrator". So far, "Administration" doesn't seem to be one of my latent talents. Still, onwards ever onwards... ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 01 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/02/01/Hyper_2D00_Ventilation_2C00_-Act-II.aspx I guess there are at least two people out there who may be interested in hearing about my latest upgrade experiences. One of them I know is just about to experience hyper-ventilation. Perhaps if I sprinkle it with some useful tips and pointers I can make it at least partly worth reading. And maybe mix in some wry comments and general grumbles about the life and times of a reluctant network-basher (that's a bit like a metal-basher, but with a smaller hammer). ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 25 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/01/25/Hyper_2D00_Ventilation_2C00_-Act-I.aspx Microsoft takes security seriously. I take security seriously. I don't have simple one-lever locks on my doors that you can open with a hairgrip, and I wouldn't use the name of my cat as my system administrator password. Well, maybe I would if my cat was called "g&e7532%dH$7", but imagine the fun I'd have calling it in for its supper at night if it was. Besides, I've got two cats, so it would only get confusing. That's why I wanted to call them "Bev" and "Kev" (but I was over-ruled by my wife). ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 18 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/01/18/Herding-Buffalo.aspx So they had an election ages ago in the US, but I still keep seeing that nice Mr. Bush on TV and in the newspapers. It seems like the even nicer Mr. Obama doesn't actually get the keys to the Oval Office until this year. I suppose that kind of makes sense. I mean, if you were employing a new airline pilot, you probably wouldn't want to give him or her the keys to a 747 until they'd had a few goes at landing one on a simulator, and proved that that they know which door to go in through when it comes time to do it for real. Especially if they haven't actually flown a plane before. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 11 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/01/11/All-Over-Bar-The-Shouting.aspx I'm not much into wearing daft T-shirts, or T-shirts with logos that proclaim my technical proclivities (such as being a Windows user, or knowing how to configure a DNS server), though one of my favorites is a T-shirt with a big picture of an organ donor card. It carries the slogan "DONER CARD" with the tagline "I want somebody to eat my kebab when I die". However, one of my other daft T-shirt logos came to mind the other day as my wife was trying to adjust from the relative warmth of a week away in Madeira to the distinct chill of an English December. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 04 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2009/01/04/Agile-Environmental-Management.aspx I guess it's that time of year when I ought to acknowledge that the festive season is upon us. You can always tell when Christmas is on the way because computer magazines are full of "ideas for presents for computer users". I don't know about you, but a 2GB USB memory stick doesn't really seem like a present I'd want to give somebody, unless perhaps it came dressed in a Santa outfit and long flowing beard. Likewise, a Webcam. I mean, they'd probably expect me to start visiting their FaceDiggSpace page to see how ugly they look when viewed from eight inches away. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 28 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/12/28/Christmas-Presents-for-Geeks.aspx Last week I was creating short introduction videos for our Architecture Guide project. You'd assume that this would be easy enough - write some slides and record the commentary, and then generate a WMV file from the recording. I used Camtasia, which integrates with PowerPoint and makes it really easy to create the recording and edit it. Only then, when I generated the WMV file, did I start to appreciate just how large these kinds of files can be. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 21 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/12/21/Under-Compression.aspx What is it with airports? I mean, if I built an airport in the town called Mansfield, I would probably seriously consider calling it "Mansfield Airport". It seems a good name since it identifies where the airport is, and what region or area it serves. The island of Madeira has only one airport (which, I guess, is not surprising as 95% of the island slopes at around 45 degrees), located next to the town of Santa Cruz. However, it's not called "Madeira airport", or even "Santa Cruz airport". It's called "Funchal airport"; I suppose because Funchal is the island's capital city. I wonder what they'll do when they finally bulldoze enough of the island to build another airport? ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 14 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/12/14/Head-in-the-Clouds.aspx As a writer, I enjoy the weirdness of words. In the English (and US English) language, and particularly in technical writing, words often mean something distinctly different from their initially apparent meaning. When I'm looking at text provided by other members of the teams I work with, such as developers and architects, I often come across a word or phrase where the usage and context is obviously familiar, yet the real meaning is totally inappropriate. And fixing the text sometimes takes a determined effort as I try to bend my brain away from the obvious to look for the appropriate. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 07 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/12/07/Time-Flies-Like-An-Arrow_2C00_-But-Not-At-Frankfurt-Airport.aspx Back in June, when I signed my life away and made my pact with the blue badge, it seemed like a good idea to restrain my exuberance in one or two areas. Wandering aimlessly around the world attending conferences, and pleading with Web site editors to buy my articles, were obvious first steps. And a quick sanitization of my own Web site seemed like a good idea - trying to tempt any unwary dev shop I could find to give me a job was probably not a good idea either. And, in particular, losing the PowerPoint presentation that grumbled about the lack of inspiration and direction in the Web world seemed like a really positive move. Especially as it was robust enough to need words with asterisks in. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 30 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/11/30/On-The-Road-To-Nowhere_3F00_.aspx I seem to have spent a large proportion of my time this month worrying about health. OK, so a week of that was spent in the US where, every time I turned on the TV, it scared me to death to see all the adverts for drugs to cure the incredible range of illnesses I suppose I should be suffering from. In fact, at one stage, I started making a list of all the amazing drugs I'm supposed to "ask my doctor about", but I figured if I was that ill I'd probably never have time to take them all. They even passed an "assisted suicide" law while I was there, and I can see why they might need it if everyone is so ill all of the time. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 23 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/11/23/Take-Two-Aspirins-And-Call-Me-In-The-Morning.aspx It may seem like this week's disjointed ramblings follows on from last week's topic, in some lexographically eerie and unexpected way. I can assure you that this wasn't intentional - the capability to avoid straying off topic during the course of a single short article has so far always eluded me, and I see no reason for that situation to have changed. After all, there's no sign yet that I'm actually getting the hang of this blogging thing. Still, at least I'm not frightened of computers, as are some people in my age group... ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 16 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/11/16/Top-10-Tips-for-New-or-Nervous-Computer-Users.aspx So I was on-site at a dev shop the other day watching three guys fighting with a printer. It seems they needed some particular project report to send to a customer, and the printer was refusing to play ball. I watched them try various combinations of "press-and-hold" buttons on the printer, check the network cable, try printing from another program, try printing from another computer, ping the printer, and reinstall the printer drivers a couple of times. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 09 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/11/09/Rusty-0s-and-Broken-1s.aspx I just discovered last week that I'm supposed to be able to "move quickly and lightly", be "as sleek and agile as a gymnast", and be "fleet of foot". Either that or I'm supposed to be an X-ray and Gamma ray astronomical satellite belonging to the Italian Space Agency. Not much hope of any of these happening, I guess. Probably I shouldn't have decided to search the Web and see what "agile" actually means (and, in case you are wondering, the Italian satellite is called Astrorivelatore Gamma ad Immagini LEggero - see Carlo Gavazzi Space). ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 02 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/11/02/Tragile-Development.aspx Oh dear, could it be that my brief career as a documentation engineer is about to come to an abrupt and unexpected end? Has my recent sin been so dreadful that I will be thoughtlessly cast aside, and once again reduced to wandering aimlessly around conference circuits and local dev shops with all my worldly goods in a shopping cart, trying to scratch a living by talking and writing about enterprise software architecture? Next time you see a sad and lonely figure dressed in a grubby (but geeky) T-shirt and scruffy jeans, clutching the tattered remains of a book on design patterns in one hand and a seriously out-of-date laptop in the other, spare a thought - it might be me. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 26 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/10/26/Oending-Letters.aspx I suppose I could try to impress people by telling them how I spent a pleasurable evening at a concert at the Buxton Opera House a week or so ago. But as I don't have any posh friends, and only a few posh colleagues, I guess it's safe to admit that the trip was actually to renew an infatuation from my younger days. No, honestly, it's safe to read on. I promise not to descend into tales of a depraved, wanton, and wasted youth (though I wish I'd had one). ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 19 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/10/19/A-Phantom-At-The-Opera.aspx I love how the Visual Studio Document Explorer (help viewer) has a topic named "Help on Help". I've often wondered whether it should say "Help Upon Help", like there was several layers piled up on top of each other. Or how, if you can't figure out how to use the Help file, a help topic within it would be useful. Still, I suppose it's better than the old days when you had help items such as "The Range property sets or returns the range" and "To close the window, click the Close button". ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 12 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/10/12/Help-Upon-Help_3F00_.aspx Maybe I've been asleep for the last few months, or just head-down working on my current project, but it seems I am the only person in the world who wasn't aware that a new version of Windows was on the way. Well, the only geek anyway. I don't mean the "Mojave" stunt - I mean what is currently referred to only as "Windows 7". And, rather strangely, my first thought when I read about it in a UK computer magazine was "Wow! Has there only been two and nine-tenths other versions since the Windows 3.1 that we all knew and loved?" That introduction to millions of the Windows world of GUI seems so long ago now... ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 05 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/10/05/Convoluted_2C00_-Devoluted_2C00_-Or-Just-Engblish_3F00_.aspx Here in England, architects (the kind who design houses and office blocks) seem to have a pretty poor reputation. Other than the "stars" who win prizes for designing skyscrapers, or weird shopping centers that look like an armadillo that wandered into a chrome-plating factory, they seem to be universally reviled. Perhaps it’s the same in the US. I remember once hearing the quip "Don't tell my mother I'm an architect, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse". That sounds like a US-ism if you ask me. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 28 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/09/28/Build-It_2C00_-And-They-Will-Blame-You.aspx (OK, need a good, hard-hitting, gritty opening sentence this week to get people interested. Here we go...). Last week I went shopping. (Hmmm... not quite the impact I wanted, but press on regardless). I wanted a new battery for my camera, so I popped into a local specialist. "Hi," I said breezily, "I need a battery for an Olympus 1010 Stylus camera". "OK," replied the obviously knowledgeable young man behind the counter, "just fill in this form". ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 21 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/09/21/Gone-Shopping_2E002E002E00_.aspx At last I can document something that might, possibly, be of marginal use to those one or two readers who mistakenly stray into the quagmire of my unrelated weekly ramblings. For the last few months I've been fulfilling my new role as an out-of-sight-and-out-of-mind remote documentation engineer (that's a documentation engineer who's remote, not an engineer who writes remote documentation - though, having read some of my scribblings, you might dispute that assertion). Anyway, recently I was beamed up to the mother-ship to spend a couple of weeks onsite at Redmond. I suspect they just wanted to see if the weird English guy they accidently offered a job to actually does exist. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 14 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/09/14/Profligate-Profiles.aspx They probably won't invite me over to Redmond again. After telling me for weeks about the wonderful summer weather there, it rained for most of the two weeks I was on site. Not many people would suggest that I have a magnetic personality, but it sure looks like the English weather followed me across the pond. We even had hail one day (in the middle of August), followed by a small tornado. And I'd taken shorts and sun cream with me. But I suppose after it rained almost the whole time during my last two trips, I should expect it. Maybe I can earn a few dollars extra by selling people my travel plans so they can plan their holidays around my trips to Redmond. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 07 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/09/07/Sunless-In-Seattle.aspx I thought I'd better start off this week with that well-known email disclaimer "INAG" (I'm Not A Golfer). Mind you, when I was a lot younger and fitter, I did occasionally caddy for a few affluent visitors to the R.A.F. Changi course in Singapore. Though when I say "caddy", what I actually mean is "carry the bag and look for lost balls", but you get the drift. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 31 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/08/31/INAG.aspx I was party to a discussion a couple of weeks ago that wandered off topic (as so many I'm involved in seem to do) into the concepts of whether a programmer is actually "OO" or not. I guess I have to admit to being a long-time railway (railroad) fanatic - an unfortunate tendency that has even, in the past, extended to model railways. So in real life (?),"OO" is the gauge of a model railway. But then someone suggested that many programmers, especially those coming from scripting languages such as classic ASP, are more "OB" than "OO". It turns out that what they mean, I'm given to understand, is that a large proportion of programmers write code that is object-based rather than object-oriented. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 24 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/08/24/Being-Objective_2E002E002E00_.aspx A couple of initially unconnected events last week conspired to nudge my brain into some kind of half-awake state where it combined them into a surreal view of "automatic" stuff. One of the events was the return from Tina, our editor and proof-reader, of my article about the Team System Management Model Designer Power Tool (a product that, thankfully, I'm legally permitted to refer to as just "TSMMD" - and will do so from now on). The second event was deciding that I ought to get a laptop sorted ready for an upcoming trip to Redmond. The combined result is some manic ravings on the meanings of stupid words, and the fact that Windows Vista obviously hates me. ahomer@microsoft.com Mon, 18 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/08/18/Easter-Bonnets-and-Adverse-Automation.aspx Here in our quiet little corner of the People's Republic of Europe, our Government decided a while ago to flog off the radio spectrum in order to pay for their countless spin doctors, pointless focus groups, endless ministerial jaunts, never-ending quangos, and failed experiments with Socialism. In return, they gave us the opportunity to enter the brave new world of Digital Broadcasting. And, rumor has it, they will eventualy build enough transmitters so that those of us who don't live in London will actually be able to receive it. Last I heard, the target date is 2013. Meanwhile, I've had to fill the entire attic of our house with bits of bent aluminium to try and drag some scraps of DAB (Digital Audio Broadcasting) out of the airwaves and down to the kitchen so my wife can have rock music on loud enough to drown out the sound of me washing the dishes. ahomer@microsoft.com Sat, 09 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/08/09/Whose-Time-Is-It-Anyway_3F00_.aspx OK, so we don't actually make cheese sandwiches here at p&p. Well, as far as I know we don't (but if we did, they'd probably be the best cheese sandwiches in the world...). When I'm over in Redmond I have to stroll across the bridge to Building 4 and buy one from the canteen, though it's worth the effort because you get four different kinds of cheese in it - as well as some salad stuff. Only in the USA could someone decide that you need four different cheeses in a sandwich. Here in England a cheese sandwich is basically a chunk of Cheddar slapped between two slices of bread. Take it or leave it. Maybe it's because there is always so much choice over there, and people can't make up their mind which cheese to have. ahomer@microsoft.com Sat, 02 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/08/02/How-p_2600_p-Makes-Cheese-Sandwiches.aspx A couple of years ago I (somewhat inadvertently) got involved in learning more about software design patterns than I really wanted to. It sounded like fun in the beginning, in a geeky kind of way, but soon - like so many of my "I wonder" ideas - spiralled out of control. ahomer@microsoft.com Fri, 25 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/07/25/Preaching-What-You-Practice.aspx After the "hot stuff" article of a few weeks ago, I thought I might as well shift focus towards another similarly inane topic, like showers. You see, one thing they seem really good at in the U.S. is doing showers (the bathroom type, not the weather type - though Redmond does seem to have an equal share of both). Even when I stay in relatively down-market hotels, the rooms always seem to have a good shower. In fact, in one I used a while ago, I actually get a wet room; though my wife would probably suggest that any bathroom I use is a wet room after I'm finished. ahomer@microsoft.com Sat, 19 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/07/19/Wet-Stuff.aspx Due to a combination of wild assumption and striking incompetence, I recently ended up repeating a long and pointless journey and overnight stay in the following week. I'm pleased to say that only the wild assumption was on my behalf - I assumed that an email containing details of a definite appointment meant that I was supposed to turn up at the specified time and place - whereas the striking incompetence became apparent when there was nobody else there. I knew that things were turning fruit dimensional (pear shaped) when the receptionist searched in vain for my name in three folders and a ring binder, then started making random phone calls. ahomer@microsoft.com Sat, 12 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/07/12/Random-In_2D00_house-Publishing.aspx I suppose most people have a "natural" language. I pride myself on the fact that I speak three languages: English, American, and Shouting (used in all other situations). However, while the majority of us geeks are probably mono-dialectic or bi-dialectic in terms of spoken languages, we do tend to be multi-syntactic in terms of computer languages. In fact there can’t be many older members of the geek fraternity who don't have a passing knowledge of some dialect of BASIC. It might be GW Basic, Commodore Basic, or some variety of Visual Basic. Of course, these days, many refrain from admitting this, especially if they spent time working with what they see as "proper" languages (and I'm thinking C++ here). ahomer@microsoft.com Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/07/05/Lost-in-the-Translation.aspx Last week I mused about how some instruction manuals ("guidance documents" in p&p-speak) are wonderfully accurate, really useful, and may even have helpful pictures. I guess the quality of the documentation depends to some extent on how much you pay for the product; and, hopefully, how dangerous it can be if you get using it wrong. But, in terms of "can be dangerous", a colleague recently reported that she had an example of just the opposite. ahomer@microsoft.com Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/06/27/Hot-Stuff.aspx You know when you go to a car dealer and they say the one particular car you're looking at has "had only one careful lady owner", what they really mean is it's been owned by five boy racers, a bus driver, and a DIY freak who rewired it for a bet. In fact the last car I bought was described as a "demonstrator that the Managing Director uses occasionally". Yet, when the vehicle registration documents arrived a week later, it turned out to have had two previous owners. Luckily for the dealer, they are 350 miles away so I never got round to going back to complain. ahomer@microsoft.com Sun, 22 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/06/22/So_2C00_-I-Just-Bought-a-Car-from-a-Lady-Prison-Officer_2E002E002E00_.aspx Sometimes you just have to feel sorry for developers. They slave away with their high-powered computers, multiple monitors, and earphones stuffed into their ears; glued to the same chair day after day as they battle with endless lines that basically all say the same thing. With only a hundred or so different keywords they can use, they are forced to try adding some variety to the content by dreaming up exciting names for variables, varying the number of spaces between words, and maybe (in a fit of carefree adventurousness) putting those curly bracket things on the same line as a word! ahomer@microsoft.com Thu, 19 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://blogs.msdn.com/alexhomer/archive/2008/06/19/Journalistic-Over_2D00_enthusiasm.aspx Random disconnected diatribes from a previous life... ahomer@microsoft.com Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://www.daveandal.net/alshed.htm